Boyzone will sex up their shows
Saturday, April 5th, 2008
With just seven weeks till D-day, Boyzone are pulling out all the stops to make sure they outdo The Spice Girls and Take That in the battle of the comebacks.
As well as working out like maniacs in the gym, I’ve heard whispers the boys have all vowed to sing live and have scaled heights to get eight burlesque dancers to sex up the show.
A source close to the band told me: “They are all well aware of how well The Spice Girls and Take That did and are doing anything and everything they can in a bid to make to sure they are the comeback kings. Ronan is the most obsessed. He saw The Spice Girls in concert three times to try and get ideas.
“They’ve held audition for super hot female dancers in a bid to outsex the ones that Take That danced with on stage. I’ve heard they will be writhing around in their underwear.
“They’re also worried about singing live. They came from an era when nobody used to sing on tour so they got away with it. Think of S Club and Steps. But now it’s all changed.”
The former Irish caners have also ditched the Guiness and turned into also turned into calorie counting health nuts in a bid for bodily perfection.
The source added: “In the old days the boys were a load of p*ss heads. But now they have given up the beer in an attempt to look as good as they can possibly look.”